Many of you may have seen the commercials for dating sites: match.com, eharmony.com, okcupid.com, the list goes on and on. The one that always make me and my husband laugh is farmersonly.com. He always teases me that if I leave him that is where he is going to look for love! But the truth is we could all use a bit more educated about what it takes to be a farmers wife and why farmersonly.com exists. Because sometimes it takes the right person to put up with a farmer and the crazy life they are so passionate about!
First off, I want you to know that I am a farmer’s wife and a farmer's daughter! I grew up milking cows, shoveling manure, bringing baby calves in the world and everything in between. I also said I would NEVER marry a farmer! God is still probably laughing at me! The truth is being married to a farmer is one of the hardest, but most rewarding jobs there is. I get to be a part of a dying community, but a thriving world that brings food to everyone else’s tables. I probably don’t care enough how the markets are doing, or if there is a momma cow having trouble calving her first baby in the barn and how they are doing afterwards.
One of the main reason's why I didn't want to marry a farmer is you have to get use to a very different work schedule, that usually starts around 5 a.m and doesn't end until around 8 at night. It's also 7 days a week and vacations are far and few between. You might not be used to getting invited to weddings, parties, family gatherings and not being able to attend because it’s haying season. You might not be used to sleeping beside someone who has to get up every two hours to check if a cow calved in the middle of the night when it is 25 below or to go check the corn dryer during the middle of harvest to make sure things are still working properly.
You may have been worried before in life, but you've never experienced worry until you get a text saying “I got kicked by a cow” "My hand got stuck in auger" or “I’m putting in an all-niter”, and let me tell you, an all-niter doesn't mean he is out drinking with his friends. It means rain is coming and the hay has to get off the field now! You may get use to the long, strange hours, and the hard work, but you will never out grow the worry.
You may think dirty laundry is wearing an outfit more than once, but you have never seen dirty laundry until you have married a farmer. Be prepared to find bolts, pliers, corn, soy beans, manure, afterbirth, and chew in the washer or dryer. Don’t expect to find any money because that was spent on parts.
Whether you work in town or are based at home, be expected to run and I mean literally run, to town on a parts run because when a belt is needed it was needed yesterday and the tractor has to be fixed before it starts to rain. Be expected to know how to stretch your money wisely and cut those coupons from the Sunday paper. Be prepared for early mornings and long nights.
Be prepared for basically anything, dirt, mud, poop, bugs, blood and guts, live animals, ANYTHING that comes through your front door (and onto your living room carpet).
Designer is no longer Gucci, Michael Kors, or Prada, but rather John Deere or Case IH and you can't be both, it's one or the other! Flowers aren't usually roses anymore. Most often they are freshly picked from the field he was fixing fence at today, and they could be dandelions. But trust me, you’ll cherish them because he took the time to pick them just for you during his busy day.
Be prepared to eat dinner no earlier than 7 o’clock pretty much every night. Be prepared to keep your weekends free because Sunday, is basically the only day you get to see him for more than 10 minutes while he is sleeping. And be prepared even on Sunday, for the cows to get out, because cows don’t care that it is Sunday.
Be prepared to spend $50+ every week on sandwich meat, Lil Debbies (if you don’t know what these are, you’ll find out), soda, bottled water, chips, and buns for cooler food during the week. P.S. Cooler season is about from April to November. And during cooler season, sitting down at the table for a hot meal, is considered a date night.
Be prepared to deal with a super cranky man when anything breaks down and there is rain coming, nothing is going or working right that day or when a cow dies from slipping on ice.
Also be prepared for the farm life to completely change your life in such a positive way.
Farmers may have rough hands, but they have a gentle spirit and a loving heart. He already loves you more than words can say. Why do you think he works so hard anyway, to support you and the little family the two of you have made together. And don’t ever second guess yourself, on those lonely, late summer nights, because he does love you. More than the cows, more than the new John Deere tractor, and more than life itself.
Somewhere in between the long and hectic summer days and the freezing cold winter nights, you’ll fall in love with this crazy but beautiful life too. You might not think so now, but you will. Oh, how you will. The truth is I wouldn't change my husbands occupation and that I think is what farmersonly is trying to get a cross because city folks really don't get it! It takes someone equally as crazy to love this life!
Here is what you will need:
